We’ve all had our share of  being around others who’re using their cell phones while  in our social space. When it comes to actually dating such a person there is a way to  gauge when the ‘gab’ might be too much.

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*Men read it and reap.

*Women, download it and pass it on to your man if you think he needs reinforcements….Enjoy!

Vday FINAL Ebook 2010

~Cathy~

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This is a time to take some bold assessments of your intimate relationships and perhaps open a much needed dialogue with your partner.

As a Relationship Specialist I will do my part this week to provide you with an abundance of tools, tips, and resources to get and keep you on steady ground with your mate.

So,  keep a look out daily for relationship building information on this site and don’t forget to sign up for our monthly newsletter It’s All About Relationships’.

Photo: AP Ricardo Arduengo

Today…I cried for Haiti.

The tears streamed down my face as thoughts of my chronic diligence to acquire more met face to face with my blatant ungratefulness for what I already have…and I cried for Haiti.

When no more planes were allowed in because of   limited  landing space due to the debris and destruction from the quake I cried for Haiti.

When rescue efforts were stalled because of  ‘logistics’ and the fear of violence and harm to the deliverers of food, water, and amenities I cried for Haiti.

When every media source plastered the unconscionably invasive images of  the devastation, of  loss of  life, of  survival…I cried for Haiti.

When reports showed Haitians without limbs, without food, without water…I cried for Haiti.

My tears flowed like a warm stream through the pebbled creeks of my sunken soul. As I brushed away the tears and gazed up into the clear blue skies, a smile graced my face. I was reminded of God’s awesome ability to create the most unlikely connections in times of challenge.

Today I cried for Haiti- but Haiti had been crying out to me long before any earthquakes.

Today I rejoice in the idea of  being able to  commit to the collective & continued efforts for stabilization, restructuring,  and rebuilding of a once forgotten country that no one had cried for….until now.

In Love & Compassion for my Haitian brothers and sisters,

~Cathy~

Ways to help:

www.redcross.org

www.redcrossblood.org

www.icrc.org/familylinks

* Text YELE to 501501 to donate $5

* Text HAITI to the number 90999 to donate $10

* Raise Funds Locally

Discussion on Finances and Dating with Host Mike T and guest Cathy Bishop

BV on Love – Romance & Finance ( Article referenced during the show)

http://www.bvonlove.com/2009/07/28/romance-and-finance-pre-marital-and-post-marital-advice/

Quote from Oprah Winfrey about adversity which was mentioned on the show ~

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus when the limo breaks down.”

SINGLE  STATS ( Stats, some of which were  mentioned during the show)

• 100 million adults in the US are currently single.
  (Source: US Census Bureau)
• The majority of US households are now headed by an unmarried person.
  (Source: US Census Bureau)
• Singles account for $1.6 trillion in annual consumer spending.
  (Source: Bureau of Labor and Statistics Consumer Expenditure Survey)
• Nearly 40% of US babies are now born out of wedlock. Highest rate: US Virgin Islands at 70.8%
  (Source: US Center for Disease Control)
• Single people make up 44% of the US workforce.
  (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
• 86%-90% of Americans will get married.
  (Source: US Census Bureau)
• The US divorce rate is the lowest it’s been since 1970.
  Source: Associated Press)
• Singles account for 36% of voters in the US.
  Source: US Census Bureau)
• Unmarried women are the largest group of non-voters in the US.
  (Source: www.wvwv.org)
• The majority of single women are homeowners. Single women are 22% of new home buyers compared to 9% of single men.
  (Source: National Association of Realtors)

The truth is, you are both the screenwriter and actor of your story. You’re capable of  creating a 2010 that is absolutely magnificent. So, create your best story ever! Write the vision, meditate on it, believe in  it, and be prepared to receive the abundance of greatness that will surely come your way.

Also, don’t forget about us in 2010. We have some exciting plans for you! We’ll be keeping you connected to the latest relationship strategies, tips, and resources in order to help you create your best dating and mating experiences in 2010 and beyond.

So, sign up today for our  fun, informative , and upbeat ecourse- 30 Days & Flirty Nites of Bliss- Starts Jan. 14th, 2010. This free course will give you daily strategies that will prepare you to be open, flirty, & fun by Valentine’s Day, February 14th 2010.  Being equipped with these cutting edge tips is priceless because you never know who you’ll be spending that day (or nite) with!

To Your Bliss,

~Cathy~

The term ex-scort is actually a new and improved version of the escort for new and improved singles. I started a humorous conversation with a friend of mine about a guy I’d see in the gym every morning. We’d speak and eventually chat cordially- but I was not ready to go any further so I joked with my friend about my asking him to be my ‘book cover’ (the model for my book cover). Needless to say,  he was absolutely gorgeous…picture perfect as well as being funny and courteous. This is the same concept you should think about for your  ex-scort. It’s the perfect solution to your current dating dilemma.

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Here’s a reminder of the many ‘hooray’ moments singles may experience with their family during these joyous holiday seasons.

1)    Dinner for One? Ever notice how the people with the smallest party get seated first at restaurants? The reality is that it’s so much easier to seat a single guest even at the most exclusive restaurants. That same reality applies to your family’s holiday gathering where seating availability is at a premium. Your family will be simply delighted to see you show up stag; one less space needed at the dinner table.

2)    Lend me your ear? I can, at times, be an exceptionally social butterfly. I can’t think of anyone who wants to sit around any longer than necessary waiting for me (or anyone else for that matter) to finish yapping it up wit the fam. As a single attendee, you can yap it up with the family for as long as you like without the disruption of someone else’s need or desire to ‘get back on the road.’ Your family will be thrilled to have someone with whom they can chat without being interrupted by someone either glaring at you or beeping the horn in the car or the continuous ‘let’s go’ text messages sent to you from across the room. I am aware that for some of you this may be the very reason you’d love to have someone with you so that you can make your timely exit before you’re pulled into the abyss of Uncle Festers’ theory on world change. But just remember that this segment is about what makes your family happy to see you single.

3)    Kid table monitor – Big family points here. Everyone loves a volunteer right? Your family will be so happy that you are single because rarely do couples volunteer to monitor the kid’s dinner table. By hanging out at the kid’s table (always a preference for me) you get to spend time with some of your favorite pint-sized relatives. There usually aren’t too many mates excited about being seated at such a table.

4)    Go Greener – This can be your contribution to a greener world…uh society…uh community—well,  maybe just your family. Your family will be happy to know that you represent their greener pasture even if just for the day. To the single relatives you are the messiah, the rock star, you are who they will aspire to be…you are their role model. I can recall being single at a family event and having a cousin come up to me and announce that I was her ‘Sheroe’. Boy did my ego get a boost that day. So, the singles are happy and proud to see you as a positive representative of their group. But to the couples you just may represent greener pastures even though most of the time these greener pastures are a two way mirror.

Let’s take a closer look at this one.

As you enter the room really take a true assessment of the situation. Try not to show up with the SUV mentality (Single & Unattached Victim). SUVs are so anti-green. As they say, the grass always looks greener on the other side. As I said this usually turns out to be a two way mirror with the other person gazing into your fantasy induced ‘greener’ while simultaneously you’re coveting their imaginary ‘greener.’

Take this opportunity to look into the eyes of your attached relatives, observe the couples’ body language, and listen( you won’t need much coxing for this) to the flow and dynamic of their communication at the dinner table. Heck, if you can really pull this one off you will surely feel like you are on direct assignment from a singles boot camp. But you’ll also learn a lot… a lot about what you want and don’t want in your next relationship as well as eliminating the ‘greener’ myth about couples at the family gatherings. So, go forth and no longer observe couple dynamics in a covetous way but rather as research for your future fantastic relationships.

Keep smiling and enjoy the journey- you rock star you!

First dates can be stressful because they happen for the first time ever in your life and that makes them both uncontrollable and  unpredictable; two things we really don’t handle well as human beings. You will never know how the date is going to turn out and so most people will begin to spend way too much time before  the date thinking about how it will go. Some people even envision some of the most drastic scenes possible for a date while others are  thinking the date will be the same as all the others- a scenario  straight out of  Bill Murray’s “Ground Hog’s Day.”  Both of these perspectives are extremes that don’t serve your dating life too well. 

 One of my suggestions is to think positively about your upcoming date if you must think at all(and I’m convinced that you must.) Everyone wants to have the absolute best first date experiences ever…every time. While that sounds like a great idea it certainly isn’t the most  realistic strategy for creating a well balanced dating life. 

Also, be aware that your dating life will have the same ebbs and flows that you experience throughout  the other areas  in your  life.  Learn to relax into the experience of dating by keeping it light and focusing on having a good time, everything else will follow in time and space. 

And finally, remember to be comfortable with who you are,  this will give your date permission to be comfortable with the fantastic person you are as well.

Happy First Dating,

Coach Cathy